It's not about how I think or feel
- By Noel Corley
- •
- 10 Nov, 2019
- •
Unpacking "A Simple Truth"™
A Simple Truth™
"It's not about ME!!"
It's not about how I think or feel,
It's not about gaining a new client, achieving my KPIs, growing revenue, or increasing returns to shareholders".
"It is about YOU!!"
It is about me understanding my true role with you.
It is about me helping you with what I know IF what I know is relevant to you.
It is about me helping you with what I have IF what I have is relevant for you.
It is about me helping you beyond what I know and have.
So, let’s look more deeply at “It’s not about how I think or feel”. Or, in the new vernacular, let’s unpack this.
How we think and feel in conversations with clients and potential clients comes from many factors. Our personality, experiences, training, and ultimately what we believe about ourselves and our role. Our thoughts, feelings and beliefs come from life experiences. Words don’t teach, only life experiences teach.
Having said that, for the mind there is no difference between what we experience, and what we can imagine we experience. Similarly, beliefs are just thoughts we keep thinking. Change our thoughts and our beliefs can change.
It’s about going beyond
For all professionals, how they think and feel determines their preparedness to explore their clients’ personal and professional lives beyond their area(s) of expertise – for accountants it is about looking beyond accounting and tax matters.
What does an accountant that sees a non-accounting matter that is important think or feel?
Some of the common answers I have come across when working with accountants are:
It is none of my business / it is not my place / the time spent on this is not billable
I don’t want to appear to be pushy or salesy
I can’t risk my relationship with my client
I am not an expert in this so I cannot raise it
I don’t have anyone I trust in this area
I tried this before and it didn’t work
If they ask me about this, I will give them three cards and
it is up to them from there
How you can help beyond your expertise
For any professional helping clients beyond one’s areas of expertise requires three things – a genuine care for clients; a desire to help more; and a “yes” response to a simple question:
Do you want to help your clients beyond your area(s) of expertise?
If the answer is yes then the conversation with clients can be created.
The conversation has nothing to do with referring anyone to anyone.
The conversation is about exploring to see if areas of clients' personal and / or professional lives beyond your core competencies might need some attention.
Truly accepting and living “It’s not about how I think and feel” is the foundation belief required to overcome previously held limiting beliefs and expand conversation comfort zones.
Hi, what do you do?
Most of us grow up learning to answer this question at conferences or dinner parties by sharing the "label" society gives our role.
For example: I am a Surgeon, Nurse, Fireman / Firewoman, Accountant, Teacher, Lawyer etc. At conferences we might share more such as I am a spinal surgeon, I am a theatre nurse, or I am a forensic accountant.
We know our audience has the awareness of what these more specific terms mean.
They are still labels.
Consider your current learned response to the question "Hi, what do you do"?
Now let's change the question to:
Hi, how would you describe what you do?
Different thoughts come to us as I am an x no longer answers the question.
Take a few minutes to write out how you would describe what you do. Don't read on until you have documented your thoughts for they will end up as the core of your "What" - tip - start with "I help people..."
The second and most important question is:
Take a few minutes to compose your answer to this - tip - go beyond lifestyle and what you are creating for yourself and your family - ask yourself what makes you happy in your work? What makes you smile, gives you a sense of satisfaction, and maybe even a sense of contribution or purpose.
Simon Sinek has made a wonderful contribution to the world - if you are not familiar with his work google him and watch his TED talk on start with Why.
Start with the first four questions then share your what and your why.
This creates a deep connection with your potential clients - they know you care, and they know why you care.
For example a financial planner created his what and why:
His What: I help people navigate the complexities of their financial lives.
His Why: I love seeing people achieve their financial dreams and knowing I may have helped in some way gives me great pleasure.
Another example - me!
My What: I help people connect more comfortably and more deeply with clients and potential clients through their conversations, if that is something they would like to do.
My Why: I do this work because of the joy I feel when I see the light go on in another human being, as I know the inspiration that will follow for them.
I encourage you to review your what and why regularly, it will evolve with a word or two changed here or there.
Anytime someone asks "What do you do"? Share your what, and, if appropriate, your why.
Words are SO
powerful.
“Choose your words carefully” is an old saying to which we should add, and wisely.
How do we “choose what words to use”?
Upbringing, education, conditioning, specific training or learning focus, and probably a hundred other things.
The majority of today's technically trained people such as accountants, lawyers, financial advisers have had little or no training in how to engage with clients or potential clients, or each other prior to entering the world of business.
Additionally, many find the idea of being, or appearing to be, pushy or “salesy” totally repugnant. Why? They have the “gift of analysis” not the “gift of the gab”.
What a nightmare.
After all those years of study going out into the big wide business world and being trained by their experienced colleagues with the words they were taught to use to engage with clients, potential clients, and each other.
What’s the problem with those words?
Most do not pass the four word filters of:
- Non-invasive
- Neutral – no connotations
- Unambiguous – clarity
- Non- jargon
Some examples of words, phrases and questions used every day that don’t pass these filters:
Prospect (connotations)
What does a prospector do? Digs for gold.
Does that mean when you are “prospecting” you are digging for gold?
Does that mean a prospect is a piece of gold?
Replace the word prospect with “potential client” in your vocabulary and in your file names.
Consider how using “potential client” changes your mindset.
Tell me about… (invasive)
One of the most used questions. There is potential for people to interpret this unconsciously as an instruction, not a request.
Easy to fix, add a prefix and reword slightly – “Will you tell me a little about…”
Note – not “can / could” you tell me…”will / would" is the right combination for clarity.
Conversations that pass the above filters transition our language from “business speak” to “human speak.
For newly qualified accountants, lawyers, and financial advisers who have the “gift of analysis”, these four filters will resonate with them and help them to create conversations they look forward to having with every potential client or colleague.
Experienced practitioners can use these filters to reassess the words and phrases they traditionally use, if they want to.
Examples of these filters in action - The First Four Questions
As always I am happy to answer your questions and look forward to hearing from you.
Noel Corley
0408 445 041
